samedi 14 janvier 2012

Breastfeeding woes

What a roller coaster it has been. One of the things I looked forward to the most when it came to motherhood was breastfeeding. It's such an amazing bonding time that mother and baby can share. At first my little one was perfect. She immediately latched and we were off to the races. However, at about two weeks the pediatrician said I had to start supplementing with formula because her weight gain was so low. Couple that with reflux and colic, and at four months she is refusing to breastfeed except in the middle of the night. I am trying everything. Most recently I bought a Medela supplementer and thought her bottle preference would go away if we used this. After getting it out of the bag and properly putting it on, I was excited to finally breastfeeding her during the day. As soon as I started bringing her towards my breast she started screaming and flailing around. We tried swaddling her per the instructions, but her protesting and tears became too much for both of us. It's so hard to feel that kind of rejection from my baby. Her reaction at the breast is similar to when she gets shots at the pediatrician. It's almost as if she is telling me that I am physically hurting her. I have never felt so insulted and hurt by something in my life. It almost feels like a foreshadowing to our future relationship as mother and daughter. I love her immensely, but it feels like she is patently rejecting me. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad